I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
