Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
