No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
