you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
