Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
