He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
