69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
