i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
i think i just lost a toe
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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