Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
