No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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