Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
