I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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