??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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