Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize