I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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