oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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