Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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