did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
