You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
