If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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