I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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