hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
