Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
