I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i wish my penis had a tongue
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
