I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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