im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
