Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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