Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
