My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
