I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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