party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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