we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
