i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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