Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
