is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
