she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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