i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
