i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
