yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
