so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
