That's when you crack a 10am beer
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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