we have officially lost it.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
