someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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