is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
