Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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