i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
