Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
