This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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