You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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