yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
