Me too!
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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