I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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