he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
