I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Every concussion has its silver lining
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
