physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
