she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
