No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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