Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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