Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Randomize
