We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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