Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
