hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
