One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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