fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
