life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
