Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
