yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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