Got a toothbrush?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Couch. On fire.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
