hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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